About Lifespan, Life and Living

I remember that my maternal grandpa used to tell me until I was 11 years old, when he went home to Rahmatullah (literally, the blessings of Allah), that life must be divided into the two main parts, namely before and after one is 40 years old.

Guess, that's why there are phrases like "40 Carats" and "life begins at 40"!

This also means that normally we expect to live up to 70 or even 80 and any extra after that is a bonus - including being sent to a home (the virtue of which your 'senders' will extol), sometimes. No use boasting about long life as that is mere labour and source of sorrow, but in my case my great grandpa lived till 110, his son, my grandpa till 95, and my father until 84.

I'm now on the way to being a 60-year old in a couple of years. But there's still time to right myself and make peace with God and Man.

The two parts of life (before and after 40) can also be divided into 3 stages: SURVIVAL, SUCCESS, and SIGNIFICANCE.

Survival is merely staying alive and even if one achieved some measure of success before 'roaring' (or whimpering?) into one's forties, it is usually in the 2nd half of one's life that success is no pipe dream any more!

To make it easy, let's define success as just "Being and doing what God called you to be" instead of using measures based on material and financial perspectives. If God gave you talents to be a very good carpenter, and you are one AND are actually really happy when you are 'carpentering', while your customers like your work and you, then, you surely are a success!

Being significant and recognised as having some significance may be another measure of success. That is, if one does not unnecessarily burden oneself with a too burdensome definition of success.

Ok, ok.... yes, as I'm into the 2nd half of my life now. But all of us can take a 'half-time' break to do some simple self-assessment. From my daily 'half-time breaks', I realize that I've neither gone into the so called post-success syndrome i.e. reaching the place where I no longer dream new dreams, stretch my 'muscles' as far as I still can; nor feeling restless and start doing somethings I may be ashamed of. Yes, my 'gold' has not become dim or lost its lustre.

Occasionally, I still fall for Satan's bait and get offended. However I no longer keep a mini-zoo in my heart where I lock the monkeys, donkeys and whatever animal names that I called those whom I felt offended me before, whom, in my loneliness, I'd take out of their cages and torture yet won't ever forgive.

After learning that UNFORGIVENESS is like taking poison and hoping that those who offended me will die...., I decided that my half-times would be used for the following purposes:

i) to change my game plan and strategy (as and when needed);
ii) to take stock of my life; and
iii) to make peace with God and man - believe you me that with God it's easy and there's glory but with man.... yeah, another story, much worry...

Getting dark now so I'd better light that candle - cursing the darkness is surely futile..

That's it for now.
Cheers from

budi